Growing up, we fantasize about our wedding. From being the absolute Indian bride to marrying our Mr. Perfect, we want to have it all. While finding a partner and settling down is a long rollercoaster ride, we thoroughly tend to enjoy every bit of it. And then, finally, the BIG day arrives when we are ready to get wedded to our dream partner.
However, we tend to forget that every relationship is built on solid trust, and the courtship starts way before you get married. And for that, having an important relationship conversation before tying the knot is a must. Here are 8-questions every Indian bride should ask the groom before getting married. These right questions will help you start your married life on the right foot and keep all the problems at bay.
- Finance and Future: Many people don't like to talk about finances- however, when you get married to the person, as a bride-to-be, you have all the right to ask your partner about his financial goals and future. It will not only help keep the money stress at a distance but both you and your partner will be on the same page. Ask simple questions like: How are we planning to share the expenses? What are the plans for the future? How are we considering keeping track of our expenditure? Are you planning to shift your job and take up something new? These questions will help you understand your financial future together.
- Family Planning: It's a common misconception that every couple talks about children before they get hitched, but you'll be surprised to know that many couples don't discuss babies before marriage. However, we suggest that you should discuss with your partner whether or not you both want babies, after how many years you want them, etc. You can have a broader conversation on topics like pregnancy issues, IVF, and adoption. Since struggling to get pregnant after marriage can be a rough phase in a couple's life, and talking about things beforehand will help you tackle the stressful situation as a team. And once that’s done you must also ask questions like: How many babies do you want as a couple? Does your partner have any gender-based expectations? Such questions will give you a clear idea.
- How to deal with stress: We all are leading a fast-paced life, and with a fast life comes stress, hence it's imperative as brides to have a discussion with your grooms about how to help and handle each other in stressful situations. Everyone has a different way to cope with stress, some people like to be left alone, while some need reassurance, so it is essential to know how your partner deals with stress. Since, when we are struggling, we are not able to communicate things well, and if our partner understands and knows about it, then it becomes simpler to deal with stressful situations.
- Deal breakers: Marriage or not, everyone has certain deal-breakers. In India, as an Indian bride, you are expected to agree to everything your partner says and does, but as a modern Indian bride, there are some deal-breakers that you have too. Hence, you and your partner must communicate that well, right before marriage. Be it about traditional issues like raising kids and religion or your passion and profession- you must have an open dialogue with your partner. Knowing that certain things will be non-negotiable will give you a good sense of understanding of how the future will look together. If all the deal-breakers sit well, then the bond with your partner will become stronger than before.
- Fears and struggles: When you get married and become the Indian bride of your dreams, you not only celebrate each other's accomplishments and dreams but also stand with each other in fears, regrets, and conflicts. So, before getting hitched, communicate with your partner and understand each other's fears and struggles. Make sure you ask all the questions before marriage since that will help you develop a sense of understanding and will also let you decide how you can nurture and be thoughtful to those fears and address them together.
- How to deal with In-laws and relatives: Weddings are not only a union of two souls but also of two families. And when it comes to India, families are vital for both the brides and grooms. So as an Indian bride, you must make sure that your partner knows how to strike a perfect balance between his parents and you since you don't want any complications post marriage. Ask him questions like - If your parents like things a certain way, and I want something else, how will you strike a balance between the two? Will you speak up to your parents if I am having some issues? No, these questions will not make you sound negative- you are practical so that everyone lives happily in the future.
- Thoughts on Marriage and life post marriage: While this may sound very cliche, when it comes to marriage, everyone has a different perception. So it is always better for a bride to have an open dialogue with the groom. Talk about your expectations, talk about how you have wanted things in life, talk about fantasies and everything intimate. Having conversations before getting married helps you know that you and your partner are on the same page. And there's nothing more joyous when all your needs, wants, and expectations align with each other.
- Future Together: Share your dreams, aspirations, wants, and desires to see how your partner reacts to everything. It is quite essential to know before marriage where you and your partner are in each other's future. It helps you decide a lot of things.
So, we are saying- while knowing each other well is fab, but it's not enough. And dear Indian brides, if you are taking that plunge, make sure to ask all these questions to your groom for a happily ever after.